Legacies

With Granny's passing the thing I've thought about the most is her legacy.  I will miss her, of course, that goes without saying.  But more important to me is how I honor the life that she lived.  What was she trying to accomplish during the 92+ years of her life?  In the darkest moments of the Great Depression and World War 2, what did she see as being the future if she could just make it through? 

Her religion was an important part of her life.  Delicious meals never commenced without at least saying Grace, and preferably reading a Bible verse and contemplating on its meaning.  I can't say I've never been religious but it has been a long time, in spite of her influence.  Would she be disappointed?  Am I missing out on a lesson she spent her whole life trying to convey?  Am I a bad person if I don't learn it?  For her the questions would go even deeper than that.  For her the question would be - will I go to Hell if I don't  change my ways?

I also think about what she was most proud of me for - my family.  I remember a couple of years ago when my dad and I drove her home from a birthday party.  I had been telling her about how I had taken the family to Disney world.  She told me that she was proud of all the things that we had done as a family and how I had raised a family in so short amount of time (I was only about 29 at the time).  That was what stuck out to her more than anything I had done (or not done) career-wise.  But it's something that I feel like I really haven't been so good at - not as good as I could be. 

So what will my legacy be?  What kind of world will I fight for?  What will be the focus of my efforts?  And will it live up to Granny's legacy?  That is what I have to sort out.  There are no easy answers for me but I think they are vitally important.