Changes

My life is at a turning point.  I must either change or...well, there's really no alternative, so I guess  I just need to change.  One of those changes revolves around being more diligent in my writing life.  That includes time spent journaling on my blog here.  I guess that's good for anyone reading (does anyone actually read this thing?)

With that being said I need to learn to do this whole blogging thing right if I'm actually going to do it.  To be honest, I don''t know a whole lot about blogs.  It looks simple enough when you're reading one but like any great art it only looks simple because so much work has gone into it.  That's only applicable to good blogs, of course, the crap ones really don't require that much work.

This year I have found writing to be that way also.  I used to be able to get by with just writing off the cuff and it worked pretty well.  The more I try to take my writing to the next level, however, the more I find myself preparing before writing.  It's worth it, of course, and I'm getting better at it but I still hate doing it.  It's so time consuming and it's not nearly as much fun as actually writing.

I guess that's part of changing though - you have to start doing things you didn't like to do previously and maybe even learn to like them.  We will see.

Visions

One thing that I have always admired about geniuses is their vision.  A true genius has a grand vision that they absolutely must bring into creation at all costs.

As a creative type I have always wanted to have such a vision but have always fell a bit short - chasing ideas down dead end alleys, over cliffs, and out to sea.  I felt like a failure, like I was simply incapable of being like my idols.  My latest project, however, may just turn out to be that vision.  If it is then it turns out that people with a vision don't just have it drop into their laps or come to them in their sleep.  Maybe you don't just see a vision, you find a vision.  Only time will tell but if that's how it turns out I hope that this seemingly simple idea is one that I can pass down to other aspiring creatives.

Stay tuned...

Happy World Goth Day!

May 22nd is World Goth Day!  Although the "goth" culture has become more accepted in this day and age it is just as misunderstood, if not more so, as it ever was.  In the spirit of creating understanding and acceptance here are a few resources that I like (in no particular order):

Dark Side of the Net - This website started as a resource page for all things Goth in 1993.  In the last couple of years it has been reborn as a blog and it is still the best resource for finding new and exciting Goth resources such as music, art, horror movie links, and much, much more.  An absolute must read!

The Sophie Lancaster Foundation - Celebrate World Goth Day by donating to The Sophie Lancaster Foundation.  This charitable organization was created after a young girl was attacked and murdered because she dressed "goth."  Whether one self-identifies as goth or not, this is a terrible tragedy that shows how barbaric the human race still is today, even in "civilized" countries.  After Sophie's death her mom created a foundation to focus on education to help young people become more accepting of those who might be different.

Blue Blood Magazine - One of the oldest and best goth fashion webzines.  From music to art and fashion to sex, nothing is off limits. The photography and models are gorgeous and the writing is original and well thought out.

Brushing the Dust Off

Wow, I haven't used this thing in a while.  Going on three years it looks like.  Yikes.

Well, time to brush the dust off.  It's fitting, I think, because I need to brush the dust off of my life as well.  For too long it has just been sitting around collecting dust.  At one time it was active, vibrant, original.  Then something happened and everything came to a halt.

I became not-me.  

Or was I ever "me"?  Looking back I'm not sure I can ever identify a time when I was living 100% authentically.  I've always been afraid to put myself out there, afraid of what others might think.

My work environment has made that worse.  At one time I was at a job on the edge of society; it was exciting, taboo, rebellious.  In other words it was everything I wanted my life to be.  Now I work in a place that is practically claustrophobic by comparison.  It's not the worst place in the world, mind you.  In fact, I rather like it.  But I can't be myself there - not if I want to be successful and right now I need to be successful.  Not only my life but the lives of my family depend on it.

But "me" is starting to smolder like a volcano that has lain too long dormant.  It could explode any day.  Or month.  Or year, I suppose, for that matter - one never knows about volcanoes.  But it's brewing nevertheless and that is comforting in an odd sort of way.